Thursday, February 18, 2010

~it's all about life~

The searching for my purpose on this planet is still on-going. Every day gives me wonderful realization on the gifts of life. I am just one of the living creatures learning to survive each minute. I may not have the ideally perfect life in this temporary world, but, I believe I don't have a bad life. No one has a bad one anyway. I am not a religious nor a life guru, yet, I think, that the moment the Creator gave the first air on our nostrils, it is already a promise of a BEAUTIFUL PURPOSE.

A problematic person might read this page and say "Beanizer, you don't know what you're saying 'coz you are not experiencing this damn life I got.."..and I may just keep silent. I won't argue 'coz it's true, I may not be really experiencing the kind of life others have. But come to think, if I don't have the kind of life others have, then consequently, I didn't experience their moments of joys and happiness at some point of their lives too, right?

My only point is, LIFE is a general word. It speaks of everything. Both joys and sorrows. Both laughter and pain. Both sacrifices and pleasures. Both contentment and dissatisfaction. Life is not at all made for pure fun and excitement. It would be a boring one then if it entails a single emotion. I am pretty sure we have different way of living. Our hobbies, desires and standards differ. And so our perception varies. You may agree or not with what I am saying. We all have our freedom to think 'coz we are born with absolute freedom to do what is right for ourselves and to others.

In some instances in your life that you find yourself pondering of your undesirable life..just think..


Wednesday, February 10, 2010


I never wanted to include something like this in blog..but I guess I have to-- for simple expression of what i feel at the moment, anyway, nobody knows me so it's fine I think.

Just yesterday my sister was confined in the hospital. Last monday, she had her check-up 'coz she felt a strange ache in her lower back. Her doctor said she had her lower spine swolen. It was just yestermorning that she can't manage to get up from bed. She felt her legs numb and can hardly move a single muscle.

My other sister just informed me of her hospital admission in the late afternoon. She told me how my sister narrated herself while they were talking on the phone. She was crying when she called her while telling the actual scene of her painful story. I could imagine how helpless she was that time. I just called her earlier lunch today to check how she's doing..and yeah, she's eating a lot lot lot! Crazy woman.

Seriously, I don't like this feeling right now. It's my major weakness - my family. I maybe the youngest member, but, I care a lot. I'm just not sure if it's obvious in their eyes. Every time a member of the family is in serious ailment or injury, I do worry silently inside. Though I don't allow myself to get stuck with unwanted emotions and worries in work and public, I just can't help sometimes--it flashes in my mind no matter how I distract my thoughts with crazy ideas and entertainment.

Laughter is a temporary relief but not a medicine.

So I guess this is enough for now.