~~always PERFECT~~

WE ARE PERFECT. But the opposite is what we always say. Most will disagree without asking.

Anyone might tell Beanizer, "Hey, are you dumb? This is an imperfect world! We are sinners! We commit mistakes! We are struggling to live each day! I have the worst family! I don't have friends.." ..and all the worsts that may define the dark side of life.

But think again, aren't we really not perfect?
Is it because you have low grades and got no job though you have a degree? Is it because you need a tummy tuck or a face lift but you don't have money to pamper yourself? Or is it because your lover for 5 years left you despite you've given everything? ..Whatever reasons you give may describe IMPERFECTION.
Imperfection is all in our minds. We only feel imperfect if we think we are.

We are perfect. Why? 'Coz we are created perfectly DUE TO OUR PURPOSE. If you believe that there's a reason behind every happening, then you must believe that you are created with a purpose. We are not here in this planet to compete and find each others' fault. We are not given life just to disappoint our own selves. We are here to learn and live according to our purpose, nothing else.

What would happen if this world is full of doctors and engineers? What will happen if we are all wealthy and rich? Who will lead if we are all leaders? Who will perform if we are all critics? We are who we are. Perfectly unique from each one.
Born naked, born human, born perfect to search each purpose of life.

Another point you may have in your mind is..how about the robbers? the less fortunate people who sleep in the streets? Are they considered perfect too? Still, I will answer YES. They are created perfect..yet, they choose to live that kind of life. They took for granted the right direction towards their goals. You can be as poor as the beggar but earn money through hardwork, and you can be a rich kid but ended in jail as a drug-addict. You can be a skinny girl and turn into a successful career woman,..or a spoiled kid that will bring disgrace to your family.

If you feel worthless, don't ask WHY..but find HOW you will serve a worthy life.
If you feel unlucky, never blame your parents, remember: genes are not lucky charms!

Don't try to be perfect, you already are.
Just utilize that perfection..how? ..make others feel perfect because of you.

~it's all about life~

The searching for my purpose on this planet is still on-going. Every day gives me wonderful realization on the gifts of life. I am just one of the living creatures learning to survive each minute. I may not have the ideally perfect life in this temporary world, but, I believe I don't have a bad life. No one has a bad one anyway. I am not a religious nor a life guru, yet, I think, that the moment the Creator gave the first air on our nostrils, it is already a promise of a BEAUTIFUL PURPOSE.

A problematic person might read this page and say "Beanizer, you don't know what you're saying 'coz you are not experiencing this damn life I got.."..and I may just keep silent. I won't argue 'coz it's true, I may not be really experiencing the kind of life others have. But come to think, if I don't have the kind of life others have, then consequently, I didn't experience their moments of joys and happiness at some point of their lives too, right?

My only point is, LIFE is a general word. It speaks of everything. Both joys and sorrows. Both laughter and pain. Both sacrifices and pleasures. Both contentment and dissatisfaction. Life is not at all made for pure fun and excitement. It would be a boring one then if it entails a single emotion. I am pretty sure we have different way of living. Our hobbies, desires and standards differ. And so our perception varies. You may agree or not with what I am saying. We all have our freedom to think 'coz we are born with absolute freedom to do what is right for ourselves and to others.

In some instances in your life that you find yourself pondering of your undesirable life..just think..

PROBLEMS ARE COMMON..BUT THE ATTITUDE MAKES A DIFFERENCE.

--undesirable--

I never wanted to include something like this in blog..but I guess I have to-- for simple expression of what i feel at the moment, anyway, nobody knows me so it's fine I think.

Just yesterday my sister was confined in the hospital. Last monday, she had her check-up 'coz she felt a strange ache in her lower back. Her doctor said she had her lower spine swolen. It was just yestermorning that she can't manage to get up from bed. She felt her legs numb and can hardly move a single muscle.

My other sister just informed me of her hospital admission in the late afternoon. She told me how my sister narrated herself while they were talking on the phone. She was crying when she called her while telling the actual scene of her painful story. I could imagine how helpless she was that time. I just called her earlier lunch today to check how she's doing..and yeah, she's eating a lot lot lot! Crazy woman.

Seriously, I don't like this feeling right now. It's my major weakness - my family. I maybe the youngest member, but, I care a lot. I'm just not sure if it's obvious in their eyes. Every time a member of the family is in serious ailment or injury, I do worry silently inside. Though I don't allow myself to get stuck with unwanted emotions and worries in work and public, I just can't help sometimes--it flashes in my mind no matter how I distract my thoughts with crazy ideas and entertainment.

Laughter is a temporary relief but not a medicine.

So I guess this is enough for now.

--possible??--

I wish to see myself as a tough person..

Somebody who can accept life’s pressures with nothing but a smile. I wish to make other people happy when they feel there’s no more hope in this world they live in. I wish to uplift a lonely human when some bastard made her feel unloved. I wish to convince some hopeless to make a stand to find their true happiness despite the cruel lives they had.

I wish to turn back the broken pieces of some hearts that were helplessly cut. I wish to lend a shoulder to those who need to cry their pains and all. I wish to give my arms to comfort those who have been left by unfaithful lovers. I wish to show respect to those who have never been applauded in years and over.

I wish to be always there even before someone makes a call. I wish to tap others’ back to let them recognize they worth the more. I wish to see someone roll in laughter when I tried to crack a corny joke in front of her sad soul. I wish to dry those eyes by holding the salty drops that flow.

YET…

How can I do these things if I am not even half the whole?
How can I send them heaven if my life is hell of a show?
How can I reveal what love is, if all it taught me is sorrow?
How can I show them the greatness of life,
--if I don’t wish to live another tomorrow?

--the existence--

// “what do I really want to happen in my life?”—this question has been running in my nerves these past days.. I am bothered of unexplainable thoughts…
..i stopped..i feel tired..does my existence still matter the world? Or do I still exist?
..i don’t know what is happening with me..the world is running too fast, I think I missed some details of the life I’m living..i’m 23..not that old but not so young..am I still enjoying my breathing on this planet? ..i have many questions-nonsense why’s and what’s that most people surely won’t be interested to know..i am doing this blog with no subject to tackle..and if someone cares to view this blog maybe she/he may have the answer..
..i feel empty..i am having a body without a soul..something is missing..don’t know where, how or what to find..maybe I need some adventure…I am playing too safe and thus, bored. I don’t hate my life, never I did and never will i..it’s just.. I need a simple response for an unknown query..
..i do have perfect friends..yes, perfect..not because they never made me feel bad..but perfect ‘coz they have the character that accepts my worsts and pushing me to my bests..i love them..i may not have the most craziest and wealthiest friends mostly people would stick to, still, I have the truest, happiest, and incomparable moments through their presence n my life.. //090209